The more things change…

Email to ex, yesterday, 9 am:

Please tell your BF to stop calling Monkey “shorty.”  It bugs her and the Bear. [more words, more diplomatic]

frantic text from monkey, yesterday at 5:

You told Mom we hate her?  WTF?  Brilliant, Dad.  Thanks so much for screwing up our lives.

Patient reply from me:

No, I said “Please tell your BF to stop calling Monkey “shorty.”  It bugs her and the Bear.”

Follow up text from Monkey:

OIC.  She took it the wrong way.  NVM

Unsent response from me to ex:

Reading Is Fundamental, ^$#&%$^#^%@

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