Messenger Puppet

If this were 1970 or so, and the dude was 20 years younger and not a meth head…

Police chase man suspected of defecating in yard

by Lisa Halverstadt – Jun. 30, 2008 03:59 PM
The Arizona Republic

A Phoenix man was arrested Friday night after defecating and urinating on the side of a Tempe home and then running from police, police said. At about 8 p.m. Friday, a resident reported seeing a man defecating and urinating on his East Concorda home, police said. When police stopped Ruben B. Mendibles, 26,they found that he had six previous warrants from area agencies and attempted to arrest him. Following a brief chase, officers realized that Mendibles had left his vehicle running near the house with the driver’s side door open, according to police reports. Officers later found a pipe in Mendible’s pocket, methamphetamine and marijuana in his vehicle, and two false license plates on his vehicle. Mendibles told police the plates belonged to another car, according to reports. Mendibles was arrested on suspicion of criminal trespassing, displaying fictitious plates, possession of dangerous drugs, possession of marijuana and possession of drug paraphernalia.

I shit you not.