Dear Direct TV:

You bastards are worse than porn, beer or warcraft. I wish I knew how to quit you.  But you complete me.  Alas.

I signed up for a new Direct TV package:  Pay for NFL Sunday ticket, get everything else free for 4 months.  Yesterday was NFL day.  We turn to the pregame

Direct TV:  Sorry.  Out of market.  You did not pay for this service.

Huh?

Gametime.

Direct TV:  here is your game.
Me:  Where is my HD?  I have HD Access!
DirectTV:  Unlock crystal-clear HD

Feel the excitement like never before. Add HD Access for just $9.99 per month and unlock the door to all the HD channels available in your programming package. Learn more

Me: That’s a football player right there!

Direct TV:  Sorry.  “Professional and collegiate sports subscriptions sold separately.”  HD games are only part of the NFL Sunday ticket SUPERFAN add on.

The Denver Broncos:  Dude, we’re 1-0 because you watched week one on ESPN HD.  That”s right.  H. D.  You owe it to us, and your hope for us in the superbowl, to watch all our games in HD at whatever the cost.

This morning.

My Checkbook:  Man I feel lighter.  And not in a good way.  What the hell happened yesterday?