Messenger Puppet

2 Surprise teens suspected of taking forklifts for joyride

by Lisa Halverstadt – Jan. 27, 2009 11:42 AM
The Arizona Republic

Surveillance footage helped Surprise police arrest two teens they say temporarily made off with two forklifts stored in the new City Hall parking garage. The cameras captured the two 15-year-olds riding bicycles into the garage on North Civic Center Plaza and then driving off in the forklifts, police Sgt. Mark Ortega said. Police arrested the pair Jan. 22, two days after construction foremen reported the forklifts missing.  Responding to the report of the theft, police detectives standing on the roof of the City Hall complex spotted the yellow forklifts in a desert area near West Paradise Lane and North Bullard Avenue, Ortega said. They later found the forklifts had gotten stuck and noted footprints leading away from them. …Though the teens initially told detectives they found the forklifts in the desert, they soon admitted they thought it would be “cool to race the forklifts in the desert”…

I have no experience whatsoever in forklifts.  Like driving like a maniac.  Or getting them stuck.  Or any other aspect of this story.

Worst Chevy Tahoe ever.

Six years after it’s moment of reactionary Toby Keith fashion statement semi-coolness wore off, H2 production is dead in its tracks.  This can’t bee a surprise.  It’s the Continental Mark V of SUVs.  Gargantuan, thirsty, puny on the inside, unwieldy and ill-suited for its usual role as suburban grocery getter.  (But great for pimps.)

Somewhere, Karma is laughing.

I suspect it’s ’shopped.  Still…

I want this “car.”  I bet it has power windows and maybe a cd player.  I would give you better pix, but ll these people are in the way.

Also, new President.  That’s a good thing too.

Thank god almighty, we’re free at last.

Don’t let the door hit ya…, FORMER president George.

Dear Michael Bidwill:

It’s 71 degrees in Glendale this very minute, an hour and a half before game time.  There is a 0% chance of rain.  It’s the desert, remember?

Yet, the roof at Pink Taco stadium is closed.  You, sir, are a Pink Taco.   I hope Kurt “but I play better with a roof” Warner throws 4 picks.  In the first quarter.

Eagles 170, Arizona fighting pink tacos 0

Awful Truth – Kill a Cop For God

Even I am offended, but so what?  First Amendment, bitches!!!

Police: Man takes off with 2 cases of beer from Circle K

by Nathan Gonzalez – Jan. 16, 2009 12:19 PM
The Arizona Republic

Mesa police are seeking a man they believe threatened to stab a Circle K convenience store clerk for two cases of beer early Friday, police said. The incident began about 3 a.m. when the suspect entered the store on the 1900 block of W. University, police said. The suspect spoke with the clerk about purchasing beer from a locked cooler.  The clerk told the suspect he could not sell beer from the locked cooler. The subject then noticed a beer display and asked the clerk if he would chase him if he stole the beer. The clerk said no, police said.  The suspect then grabbed two cases of beer. As he attempted to leave, the suspect told the clerk he had a knife, and didn’t want to stab the clerk, police said.  The suspect also ordered the clerk to wait five minutes before calling the police, which the clerk did.

This did happen to me once, as a clerk at a 7-Eleven.  Some Viet Nam vet had just seen Platoon, and got all worked up.  I had made the mistake of leaving the door to the imports open.  He got a 6 of Heineken and, later, a visit from the police, since he did say he would kill me.  I got an apology from the vet, and a bunch of whining from “the Griffer” (my boss) for leaving the door unlocked and costing the store $6.89 (plus deposit).

All the King's horses and all the King's men...

Aston Martin V8 Vantage gets a little road rash.