Beer Reviews: Old English 800 high gravity

She's not real - it's the beer goggles, dumbass

She’s not real – it’s the beer goggles, dumbass

Quite simply the worst beer ever.  I am lucky to be able to type since I was stuck in bed all day yesterday. (Listening to crazy talk from the other room.) The last time I felt this bad, wormwood was involved.  This is what the morning after feels like:

molecular acid is preferable

It is like a six pack in a bottle.  Pounding it in 20 minutes after drinking an actual six pack? This shit is pure toxic death.  QED.

On the bright side, you can fuel your car with it, or clean blood off concrete.  The latter [Ed: your blood on the concrete.] is what the lawyers would call a “foreseeable consequence” of drinking this, so save a little – pour it on the ground when you’re done.  You’ll recognize it [Ed.:  the ground.] as the thing you’re holding down, lest it fly off into space.  (Thanks for saving the rest of us, btw.)

  19 comments for “Beer Reviews: Old English 800 high gravity

  1. Pingback: Incongruity
  2. Anonymous
    September 19, 2010 at 1:21 pm

    damn girl u got big ass titties

  3. October 3, 2010 at 10:20 pm

    you are so hot oe beer girl i am whacking it to your pic fo sho

  4. sdf
    December 29, 2010 at 1:51 pm

    This stuff is awesome, don’t you realize that it’s meant to be drunk by people who aren’t total grannies?

    • Profile photo of Gonzo di Dottore
      December 29, 2010 at 11:24 pm

      It’s for people with low expectations for tomorrow.

  5. Adam
    January 12, 2011 at 6:36 pm

    I drink this all the time and wake up at 6am and go to work. If you’re a little girl and can’t do the same I’m sorry. Pussies.

    April 8, 2011 at 9:17 am


  7. J. Edgar Hoover
    May 27, 2011 at 3:10 pm

    United States Flag Washington, District Of Columbia, United States Fbi Criminal Justice Information Systems ( [Label IP Address] 0 returning visits

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    May 27 05:58:34 AM
    Beer Reviews: Old English 800 high gravity | Messenger Puppet

  8. Anonymous
    November 14, 2012 at 7:50 am

    buy a box bitches.

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