You are in more dire need of a blowjob than any white man in history…

…and it shows.  Your rolling creamsicle ads come in lots of different flavors

Lamborghini Murcielago SEMA
Lime

Possibly the flavor is Sour Apple

BMW M6
Licorice

Black and topless like hookers named Apple

Dodge Challenger convertible SEMA
Orange

The color of 8 barrel air cleaners

HTT Plethore LC-750
Red? Rust?

Him: Reddened, like it’s engorged.
Her: Stop looking at my boobs or I will take this microphone and Casino Royale your personal BJ quest into oblivion.

Ghepardo
Golden

Like the flavor of popcorn. Or showers, one supposes, since it seems to invite being pissed on.

Mosler
The elusive WTF mark V, which tastes of mystery and Wild Turkey

(It’s possibly a Mosler)

Lamborghini Murcielago and strippers
The high dollar chicas are not impressed by Vanilla, even when it’s Italian

Dollars or giant penises?  They will take both, please.

Dodge Viper GTS
Lemon yellow?

Ahh, overcompensation. Lemon, like “pucker up”? Not subtle. Banana, to go with a long hood and side exhausts? You think it says long and hard. She’ll think yellow banans are already starting to go soft and are hours away from rotting. Also, gasses – pheww – watch out.

Aston Martin V8 Vantage Volante
When all else fails… old money

…just drop the bonnet on an Aston, regardless of color. While it does say, “I’m fucking desperate,” it also says “old money” and jacuzzi suite at the Wynn. Whadda you got to lose.

whyte Cadillac Coupe de Ville
The only sure fire solution:  Old Vegas.   B/W like Nick at Nite

Even if you’re a door knob, driving old Vegas says “yeah baby” in that ever so right sort of way.

7 thoughts on “You are in more dire need of a blowjob than any white man in history…

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