God, I loved these cars. Everything that was so right, and so wrong about American cars and GM, all bottled up into one effete and ponderous whale for everyman.
- The Seville (v. 1.0 and 3.0) “notchback” roofline
- The half Cutlass Supreme/ half tailfin taillights
- Bumpers that announce that your penis is made of steel.
- The plump assed French hooker rear end of the car, from delicate wire wheel covers (sometimes actual wire wheels) and the real men wear fender skirts to the subtle wedginess.
Inside was velour or leather(like) loose pillow bench seating for 4 (the other 2 were not very welcome), AM/FM stereo with 4 speakers, power windows and locks, cruise control and a clock. Woo, the lap of luxury. Just don’t try to turn, or pass, or parallel park, but man, do you look like a yuppie and a pimp all at once.
Give me one in the dark blue over dark blue, please.