Better than the '81 is not saying much

Tony Zdeb Wants to Sell You This Car

Better than the '81 is not saying much

Better than the ’81 isn’t saying much

Hey everybody, it’s the new Jan Brady! 5-door Ford Escort.  It’s the first new car I ever test drove*, all $5,500 and no AC and no power anything on it.  It’s like Don Seelye Ford supplied the stripped cars on The Price Is Right!  It took me 5 lights worth of stalling at Winchell and Stadium before I gave up on the whole clutch/gas/1st gear business.  But for that bit of karmic humility, I might have been Earnhardt-ed into buying it, which would have kept me from quitting my shitty job @ Burger King.  The horror…

*on a public street.  Certain other conditions apply.

7 Comments

  • On the Road Again December 28, 2010 at 2:22 pm

    […] the parking lot is a frost covered Ford Escort. Everything is probably frozen over on it. Karma:  Hmmm. You should help this poor soul. Bill Nye […]

    Reply
  • 28 Years Later January 9, 2012 at 11:46 am

    […] Ford II, this was more genius than pretending that the Escort hatchbacks had 6 inch trunks.  However, they were too controversial.   Sansabelt and white-shoed dealers wouldn’t stock […]

    Reply
  • If you could see tomorrow January 11, 2013 at 3:51 pm

    […] Motor Company jingle, ca. 1980 (hyping the 1981 Escort “world […]

    Reply
  • If you could see tomorrow… July 23, 2013 at 4:43 pm

    […] overweight, underpowered and handling quirks that made the first Corvair seem predictable. The 1982 Escort grew worlds better (a 2/10 is infinity better than a 0/10).  The 1982 Mustang even more […]

    Reply
  • I Hate Car Dealers | Kiss My Asphalt March 11, 2014 at 3:54 pm

    […] wait, it gets worse.Ford dealers were not content to sucker college students into buying cars they could barely drive and could not afford.  They needed those incrememental dollars, those add-ons to boost the ticket. And, not everyone […]

    Reply
  • Acid Flashback: Little Brother | KISS MY ASPHALT March 12, 2014 at 11:18 pm

    […] view from the Ford Escort racing […]

    Reply
  • 28 Years Later | Kiss My Asphalt September 14, 2014 at 9:01 am

    […] Ford II, this was more genius than pretending that the Escort hatchbacks had 6 inch trunks However, they were too controversial. Sansabelt and white-shoed dealers wouldn’t stock Marks […]

    Reply

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