Better than the '81 isn't saying much

Hey everybody, it’s the new Jan Brady! 5-door Ford Escort.  It’s the first new car I ever test drove*, all $5,500 and no AC and no power anything of it.  It took me 5 lights worth of stalling at Winchell and Stadium before I gave up on the whole clutch/gas/ 1st gear business.  But for that bit of karma, I might have been Earnhardt-ed into buying it, which would have kept me from quitting my shitty job @ Burger King.  The horror…

*on a public street.  Certain other conditions apply.