Door #1
2006
Rock: Hi mustang. Let me chip your windshield.
Geico: A Lizard Caveman cocktail will fix it nicely. No deductible.
Me: Yay.
Fastforward to 2010
Rock: Fuck you xoxBox windshield. Die from a puny chip to the sweet spot.
Geico: Hah! no coverage for you, dancer boy.
Me: huh? WTF?
Geico: We don’t know if we cancelled or you did, but we do know you don’t have coverage anymore.
Safelite Repair Dude: $286 cash please. daddy needs a new pair of hookers and blow.
Door #2
2007
Me: 155? I like it here.
SWFs: I wanna rock with you.Various dramas ensue
2010
Me: The 34s went from loosies to no this ain’t happening
Scale: Remember me? Perhaps you remember my friend?
Beer: And me?
Hot wings: And us?
Beer: But mostly me?Karma: Laughs maniacally.
LA Fitness: Remember me? I’ll sing Whitney Houston if it helps.
So there it is.