Me:  I would like some insurance that is better than “pay a million dollars and get no coverage”*  (the utter bullshit George Bush health savings account I currently have)
MMJ HR:  Okely dokely
Me:  La la la, life is good.

Later

MMJ HR:  Guess what?  Your individual  insurance is not close to affordable for you.  Also, we won’t pay for your kids any more.  Please deduct $320 from your rent and food budget.
Me:  WTF?
*points Howitzer at own temple*
Karma:  *laughs*  maybe you can trade your new “weapon” for Ramen noodles.

2 hours of screaming and yelling and bitter negotiations later.

Insurance Lady:  With a $10 million deductible and $400 co-pays, your insurance only has to go up by $46 a paycheck to cover everyone.
B.O. on the East Side:  Don’t look at me.  the teabaggers and dickless Congress fucked you out of any help on this.

Eat a dick,  Rush Limbaugh. This is Reason number 417 why Canada is better.

*unless you blow up in a nuclear accident on an orbiting satellite that has been hijacked by Ernst Stavro Blofeld on a Friday in July, 1971.