Dateline: OMFG early on Saturday, Game Show Network (Whammy, the all new Press Your Luck)

April, you are today's big winner...

Spend a glorious week in Natchez Mississippi at Monmouth Plantation

…a glorious return to the antebellum south…

I just threw up a little in my mouth

This haven of tranquility awaits you to enfold you in luxury, beauty and service…

Oh no, you didn't

Yours at the Monmouth Plantation

Host: that trip to Natchez sounds GREAT!!! April: you are so dead, dumbass

Note to self.  Sleep with ESPN on, not GSN from now on.