Dear Capital One

How about a couple extra dollars?

• Had the card for a couple of years
• Never late
• Paid in full
• Interest from me = money!!  Woo hoo!
• A couple car loans too, you bastards
• Uncle Sam and Canon USA would both REALLY love you for it.

Me

Dear Asshole

• Who
• Gives
• A
• Fuck?
• A:  Not us.

Die.

Capital One

Thus the answer to “What’s in your Wallet?” is not “money.”

Fuck off.  And die