The George W. Bush MBA school of retail:
CVS: Here’s a coupon for a $25 gift card when you transfer or bring in a new prescription.
Karma: Here is a crippling headache cluster, like that person from “The Fury” (Not THAT Fury) whose head exploded.
Dr. Wikipedia: *googles “OMFG it hurts, but only at that most critical of moments”* Well, it could be any number of things. Go have an MRI and a smoke.
MRI: Yes, you have a brain. Can’t tell you anything else. $1,200 please (against your insurance deductible).
Capital One Mastercard: Don’t look at me for help, nature boy.
Back to the story…
Dr. Wikipedia: *googles “WTF do I know”*Maybe the problem is at the other end. Try this:
Me: At least I have a coupon.
CVS: *sees 3 refills and $8000 co pay on scripts* Come to Daddy
CVS: Wait, what?
Me: “Generic Equivalent,” bitches. Here is your $2.42.
CVS: Thinks about P/L, chugs Maalox and vodka smoothie, calls Jones Day to prepare new 8-K.
Epilogue: Yes, I am okay, as far as I know, except for needing to wear a helmet (not that helmet). $25 gift card -7.26 in scripts = Coors light 30 pack (on sale) in my favor. Thank you CVS. You are the awesome.