The George W. Bush MBA school of retail:

CVS:  Here’s a coupon for a $25 gift card when you transfer or bring in a new prescription.

Later…

Karma:  Here is a crippling headache cluster, like that person from “The Fury” (Not THAT Fury) whose head exploded.
Dr. Wikipedia:  *googles “OMFG it hurts, but only at that most critical of moments”* Well, it could be any number of things.  Go have an MRI and a smoke.
MRI:  Yes, you have a brain.  Can’t tell you anything else.  $1,200 please (against your insurance deductible).
Capital One Mastercard:  Don’t look at me for help, nature boy.

Back to the story…

Dr. Wikipedia:  *googles “WTF do I know”*Maybe the problem is at the other end.  Try this:

Me:  At least I have a coupon.
CVS:  *sees 3 refills and $8000 co pay on scripts*  Come to Daddy
CVS:  Wait, what?
Me:  “Generic Equivalent,” bitches.  Here is your $2.42.
CVS:  Thinks about P/L, chugs Maalox and vodka smoothie, calls Jones Day to prepare new 8-K.

Epilogue:  Yes, I am okay, as far as I know, except for needing to wear a helmet (not that helmet).  $25 gift card -7.26 in scripts = Coors light 30 pack (on sale) in my favor.  Thank you CVS.  You are the awesome.