Things My Dad Was Wrong About – Cars and Fashion

This is the best of both worlds, staring me right in the face.  It is a shitbox Mercury Monarch, born not from jets, but from the decomposed, assraped carcass of the 1960 Ford Falcon.  No one will mistake it for a Mercedes, trust me.

Granada (Monarch) vs. Mercedes

Dad: Iapprove of this car so long as no one drops a golf ball on it from space!

Part two of the mistake?  Green.

Green?  Really?  This is not an Aston.  It is a fashion choice.  Like when Dad married the harpy.

Dad:  Look at my shiny green suit!  I call it “pistachio,” for obvious reasons! **  White Belt and White Loafers make it pimpin’ like Huggy Bear!

Green suits are like meth – not even once.

**Dad:  Also, because my balls will be that small once she is through with me!