Two fingers tequila is the worst shit ever. I know from experience. Why did I try it? The ads:
No, I did not understand the double entendre at the time.
Where did I see the ads? National Lampoon and Playboy. Yes. I read the ads in Playboy. And the articles. How else would I learn about:
- the proper way to pour a beer into a real glass
- Prison riots in New Mexico, especially the broom handle rape.
- declining sports fan etiquette
- $175 shoes (in 1980 dollars) and Aston Martins.
- football picks (hint: choose the opposite of what they say)
- and of course “anatomy.” Nothing prepares you for the reality of a cooter like an airbrushing that tells you nothing you want to know.