TigerDirect.com:  please enjoy this new Droid X.  It’s free! We just need a little info to coordinate with Verizon.
Me:  No prob.  Free kicks ass.

later…

Verizon: Thank you for changing your email.
Me:  WTF?

later…

Verizon: Your new email is “iamstalkingyoufromhalfacontinentaway@gmail.com”  XXOO
Me:  WTF?!
Me:  Not for long
Me:  *Fixes the internet*

later…

Me: WTF, Verizon?!  Tell me it’s probably just an artifact from a past account user’s info.
Verizon: It’s probably just an artifact from a past account user’s info.
Karma:  Had you going there for a minute, didn’t I?
Me:  Week long teen drama was not enough fucking with me?  You HAD to throw a stalker false alarm in?  You are one sick bitch, Otis Karma.