Jury duty calls. DUI, where the guy was not driving. We call that “in actual physical control.” However, in actual physical control means anything from getting a drunken blowjob sleeping in the car with keys in your pocket to sitting in your living room with a buzz after you drove a car (regardless of when the buzz occurred).
Judge: Does anyone disagree with AZ DUI laws?
30+ sheep: *No hands*
Me: *Hand*Judge: Does anyone think actual physical control charges are complete and utter fucking bullshit?
30+ sheep: *No hands*
Me: *Hand*Judge: Have a Nice day, Mr. Duke
and instead you got to come home and get a drunken blowjob..yeah Mr. Duke..there is justice.