When the Phi Sigs come back home

Blow Shit Up

PHi Sigs

Free and clear – what saps

1961-1991+ – The ChapterCome join.  We own our own house.  We’re not on shitty fraternity village drive.   We’re better than that!  You’ll get laid constantly here.

Karma:  No you won’t (there), but you’ll sure try.


Karma:  Ok, after 5 years of relentless drunken leg humping, I guess it is OK

But I digress…Later:

The Chapter:  let’s convince people to find us in our great location with a little hard work and innovative marketing!


The Chapter:  Yay, we own our own house, but we need more room to dance badly to shitty music! -let’s kill 25%  the rentable bedroom space so we can party like the Situation!


The Chapter:  Fuck you and your “rent”!
The Brains
:  Let’s get rid of the bastards who expect you to pay it!
The Chapter
:  This house sucks because it’s old!
The Brains
:  OK then!  Let’s dump a fuckload of money into it!

Phi Sig House

Home Depot has been good to the old Phi Sigma Kappa barn


The Chapter:  Fuck you and your “pay rent” bullshit!   A place to drink beer and fuck should be free to us! Especially us tenants!
The Chapter
:  Rush is hard! How can we possibly add members without University support like they did in the past? How can we possibly convince anyone to join us if we’re not like everybody else?  We need to be where the sheep are so we can be like everybody else!  And not work at it!
The Brains
:  OK then!  Let’s just sell this overencumbered albatross while the market is bottoming out and move over to cloneville!! Everybody dress like short brown-haired twits and they’ll think you’re Sig Machi!
National:  Sounds fucking brilliant to us!  Every step! We just need to replace our rubber stamp, because it wore out from over use!

Truth in Advertising

Truth in Advertising

2011 – Time to reap.

They confiscated everything, even the stuff we didn't steal!

They confiscated everything, even the stuff we didn’t steal!

New and improved

Wow. What an upgrade.

So, let’s recap:

  • No house.
  • No proceeds of sale
  • No letters indicating that this is anything other than four shitty little units of college student rental mediocrity!

The Chapter:  Fuck you, alumni, and your demands of effort and timely rent!
The Brains
:  Fuck you, fellow alumni, and your expectation of competence!
National: Cry about it, you babies!


  • buzz wang August 15, 2011 at 11:28 am

    shit, even Fredo and I could have gotten some value out of that. We could have sold the dump and bought a ton of weed to sell, and then made even more money.

  • Profile photo of The Puppet
    The Puppet August 15, 2011 at 11:32 am

    and invested (some of) your profits in hookers and blow! Yay capitalism!

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