Suck it Up – You’ll Thank Me

Are you a late nighter at the BK Lounge?  Grave yard at the 7-Eleven? (Or do you have a real job with fucked up hours?)  Does it fuck up your social life? Well, you may have “shift work disorder (SWD)”

If you work non-traditional hours and struggle to stay awake at work, you may be experiencing excessive sleepiness (ES) due to SWD. People with ES due to SWD often struggle to stay awake during their waking hours, or have trouble sleeping during their sleeping hours.

Drugs?  Drugs.

Nuvigil® – i.e., “new vigil.”  That’s gotta work because a doctor prescribes it, right?  But pump those brakes a little.  Let’s check the fine print.

Home Consumer | NUVIGIL®.

Cautions?  Cautions

NUVIGIL may cause serious side effects including a serious rash or a serious allergic reaction that may affect parts of your body such as your liver or blood cells, and may result in hospitalization and be life-threatening.

Instead of curing sleepiness, it may be time for the big sleep?  Yay!

If you develop a skin rash, hives, sores in your mouth, blisters, swelling, peeling, or yellowing of the skin or eyes, trouble swallowing or breathing, dark urine, or fever, stop taking NUVIGIL and call your doctor right away or get emergency help.

Johnny, I want my liver

Even more side effects?  Oh yeah.

Stop taking NUVIGIL and call your doctor or get emergency help if you get any of the following serious side effects:

  • Mental (psychiatric) symptoms, including: depression, feeling anxious, sensing things that are not really there, extreme increase in activity (mania), thoughts of suicide, aggression, or other mental problems

If you go crazy, it’s time to kick.

  • Symptoms of a heart problem, including: chest pain, abnormal heart beat, and trouble breathing

Unless the drug decides that you’re the one who kicks.

  • Common side effects of NUVIGIL are headache, nausea, dizziness, and trouble sleeping.

Alcohol does the same thing.

These are not all the side effects of NUVIGIL.

Great.  There are more?

Tell your doctor if you get any side effect that bothers you or that does not go away.

You don’t have any idea what they could be?  Cool!

  • Do not drive a car or do other dangerous activities until you and your doctor know how NUVIGIL affects you.

So much for firemen, doctors, cops like in the ad.

  • Avoid drinking alcohol.

So, all of the drawbacks ^^ of a bender with none of the adventure.

Other warnings and cautions ensue…  Then this

  • Women who use hormonal birth control may have a higher chance of getting pregnant, while taking and for one month after stopping NUVIGIL.

Well there you go.  Put your woman on this shit and have an unplanned kid.  That will keep up all night, no prescription required.

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