Actually 32, but who’s counting?  Anyway, This is the Lincoln Continental Mark VI. I loved these cars when they came out.  Yes, they were stubby in all the bad ways, compared to the “long hood = long penis” message the Mark V sent.  One of the coolest features, according to the brochure, was the “auxiliary lamps.”  These were glorified fog lights embedded in the covers for the real headlights.

Yes, that’s right:  hide the ugliness of headlights behind retractable covers, then embellish the covers with fake lights.

Henry Ford II, this was more genius than pretending that the Escort hatchbacks had 6-inch trunks.

However, they were too controversial.   Sansabelt and white-shoe  wearing Lincoln dealers wouldn’t stock Marks with the Black Swan look (the movie, not the foofy restaurant).

The disco refugees and repressed homosexuals style-setting, haute couture cognoscenti  of “southwestern lower Michigan”  could not process the crazy-eyed look.  Big Gay Al yes; Raisins waitress no.

This idea was so out there, not even the Black folks in town would drive these. (Not that anyone darker than a Lake Michigan summer tan would ever get talked to at a Kalamazoo car dealership unless they were the last and only customer. And maybe not even then.) I never thought they actually made it off the assembly line with these extra lights, until I saw one for sale on eBay Lincoln: Mark Series | eBay.  Can’t afford it; can’t look away.