How Sausage Is Made
This, after 30 years of basting, is one of my favorite cars of the 1980s. One of the lamest then/coolest now features is the “carriage roof,” the fake convertible top first introduced on the 1979 Mark V. It worked on those because they were styled as 2 door hardtops.
In shopping for a vintage ride for Lurlene, I came across an Emilio Pucci Mark. Done right, it looks like this:
However, this is the era of sunbleaching and meth, so of course, the dumbass kids got ahold of grandpa’s car and beat the living shit out of it. That is when you learn what goes on behind the curtain:
1. It’s not as simple as gluing the fake roof to the real one.
2. They all came with opera windows. Evidently a piece of tape was the solution to that little problem
3. Evidently, the funky roofline was the result of fiberglass boob implants