Cars & Coffee: How to fit in – Scottsdale style

Bentley Azure

Eat the Rich

You’re off to a good start:

  • Cell phone glued to ear?  Check.   This is a prerequisite, with no exceptions.
  • Oblivious to everything outside of personal space?  Check.  This is a prerequisite, with no exceptions.
  • Foofy purse dog? Check, but that is supposed to go with your plastic enhanced trophy girlfriend.
  • Used Bentley, so you look like established money?  Check.  We would have accepted a generic overpriced SUV if you had kids.
  • Safe colors? Check.  Don’t be controversial.
  • Safe colors?  Check. Your outfit and dog match the car, in a Garanimals kind of way.
  • McMansion?  I’m guessing so.

The trash bags though? Carrying your own?  What the fuck, dude?  “That’s what Scottsdale has Mexicans for.” – Joe Arpaio

Profile photo of Gonzo di Dottore

Gonzo di Dottore

Gonzo di Dottore [Ed.: He's not a real doctor. Or Italian.] is a noted author, poet, photographer and bon vivant. Or was that savant? It's hard to tell sometimes. One of God's own prototypes. Some kind of high-powered mutant never even considered for mass production. Too weird to live, and too rare to die 

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