Fredo Wang: Lowrider

When you’re out of Natty Light and Night Train, no ordinary grocery getter will get you to the liquor grocery store in the style to which you are accustomed, unless you roll up in this:  1977 Dodge Aspen “Special Edition.”  We know it’s special: 1/2 yellow, 1/2 red to confuse eyewitnesses fit your usual two moods: […]

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1985 Honda Civic wagon
Powered by a sewing machine motor

Where I saw one: down on the street, instead of  On the intertubes

Nostalgia factor: 3/10 – Ahh, memories – mostly not mine.

Baseline: 0, since I never personally owned one. +1 because mom had one, +1 because that one was a crazy moonwagon instead of an ordinary hatchback, -1 because it didn’t have a radio – stupid Honda made you choose from dealer installed extra cost radios and mom simply wouldn’t fork over an extra dime, +1 because I stole borrowed it to visit Madonna while mom was away, +1 because it led to a Wixom sexathon, +1 because for 20 years, including my entire marriage, banging her was the best sex ever, Read More

Crazy Stupid Love

Let me see if I got this straight: Steve Carrell is married to Julianne Moore, who dumps him. Julianne Moore is secretly having a lesbian family with Annette Bening, who leaves her in order to fuck President Andrew Shepherd, so Moore steals Kevin Bacon from the Closer lady. Steve Carrell learned nothing from being a 40 […]

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The Complete Opposite of “10”

The Complete Opposite of “10” is “She’s Out of Your League.”  Both are about dorks chasing girls laced with unobtanium.  It’s in the details where one rises and one fails.  In four words: Kirk Needs to STFU (or “another lame chick movie” or “where are the boobs”) Movie 10 League Great Actresses (i.e., naked)? Constantly Uh, […]

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longer trailer

bo derek runI finally saw this movie just last night.  I had seen it on network TV before, but this time it was on HBO and uncut. Wow!

10 in four words: tits are an eleven
Some other thoughts:

  1. I know I didn’t see it uncut before, because I was constantly surprised by all the naked “broads.” You don’t forget that.
  2. Dudley Moore is the same guy as always – Davy Jones all grown up.  Sadly, now I sort of identify with George Webber, instead of wanting to take his place in the casita (Ed.: to be clear, I would bone her, but she needs to not talk).
  3. Julie Andrews is not sexy, in the same way as Ellen DeGeneres and Jody Foster are not sexy – with a man. Or in the same way that my grandmas are not sexy (Ed.: not merely because THEY ARE CURRENTLY DEAD). It might be the butch haircut that lasts for 40 years (like a pony tail); it might be the stain of Mary Poppins prudishness that just won’t abate. Read More

Jiffy Lube? Lurlene, Yes; Car, No.

In our Jiffy Lube adventure from last March, we learned: Coolant was “low.”  Extra $ to top off. No other advice. There was an oil leak “on the engine”/around the oil pan. No advice whatsoever. Unlike at Autozone, synthetic oil costs ~$10 more per quart, because “fuck you, consumer.” The Scion needs this expensive oil because NO […]

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Riddle me this

In Phoenix, we have car pool lanes. During commuter hours, you need two passengers or risk a $350 fine. We do this to save gas when we save rides. Exhibit A – Scion

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The Many Cars of 007: A Look At the Vehicles From the James Bond Films

James Bond Lotus
The Many Cars of 007: A Look At the Vehicles From the James Bond Films

The Many Cars of 007: A Look At the Vehicles From the James Bond Films.

This autumn, theaters across the globe will be showing Skyfall, the 23rd film in the James Bond series. And we can’t wait. While details are a bit vague at the moment, it’s known that a character from one of the early movies will have a role. No, not Sean Connery, but a car that the legendary actor drove in 1964’s Goldfinger: an Aston Martin DB5 The vehicle’s appearance will highlight the roles automobiles have played during the five decades of 007 movies.

They left out the Continental convertible Bond drives to Palmiera in Thunderball.

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