Angels and ministers of grace defend us!

Defend us from the let down that is Gene Simmons!  Because “the Demon”…

This guy

…has turned into a pussy-whipped schlub.  Yeah, I watch “Family Jewels.”  The testicle pun no longer applies – the joke is Gene pretending he still has any.  This is what the story has devolved into:

Last Season:

Shannon:   Marry me or I’ll throw a fit like a spoiled teenager/completely insecure  bitchy (ex) wife
Gene: I don’t want to, but OK *caves*
Shannon:  Wait, let me humiliate you a little more.

This season:

Shannon:   Let me adopt a kid who will be 18 when you’re 80 or I’ll throw a fit like a spoiled teenager/completely insecure  bitchy (ex) wife
Gene:  I don’t want to, OK *caves*
Shannon:  Wait, let me humiliate you a little more.

Shannon:   Throw away important parts of your past (burn the Polaroids of your conquests) or I’ll throw a fit like a spoiled teenager/completely insecure  bitchy (ex) wife
Gene:  I don’t want to, OK *caves*
Shannon:  Wait, let me humiliate you a little more.

Shannon:   Stop all incidental physical contact under any circumstances with your stupid fans, even though their money paid for my facelift and awful lip job, or I’ll throw a fit like a spoiled teenager/completely insecure  bitchy (ex) wife
Gene:  I don’t want to, OK *caves*
Shannon:  Wait, let me humiliate you a little more.

 

Shannon:   Sleep on the couch, fatso and indulge my passive aggressive fit worthy of a spoiled teenager/completely insecure  bitchy (ex) wife
Gene:  I don’t want to, OK *caves*
Shannon:  Wait, let me humiliate you a little more.

 

Shannon:   Surprise! You’re being served some actual balls on a platter.  EAT THEM or I’ll throw a fit like a spoiled teenager/completely insecure  bitchy (ex) wife
Gene:  I don’t want to, OK *caves*
Shannon:  Wait, let me humiliate you a little more.

the teacher's withering bitch wife from Pink Floyd The Wall
Enjoy the poached testicles – they’re yours

And on it goes.  I lived a life like that.  Then I decided to be happy. Or at least to be me, and not some harpy/succubus/pussywhipping hellbeastbitchcunt’s vision of what I should be.  It’s taken a few tries, but to the extent I’ve ever had my balls served to me, they grew back by me being a man with my woman, rather than an enabler of every bad wife-GF/ obsequious spineless man stereotype out there.

Word to the wise, Gene.

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