Diamonds Are Forever

Diamonds Are Forever and Die Another Day are the same movie Diamonds – get you laid, even after the US goes off the gold standard and obviates the whole premise of Goldfinger. The rocks come from exotic Africa: South Africa/Sierra Leone. Space Laser.  EVERY cool megalomaniac needs one. Chicks in gratuitous bikinis Jinx/Tiffany Case Plastic […]

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Proverbs 31 wife

My cousin’s kid and my sister and her 7 daughters all aspire* to be “Proverbs 31 wives.” Setting aside the conceit that a woman needs to be a wife in the first place, I actually looked it up: The Woman Who Fears the Lord 10  An excellent wife who can find? She is far more […]

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Things Padlock Was Wrong About

1973 Dodge Polara
Mufflers are for the weak
  • That this car was in any way superior to my Fury.
  • Even with my JC Whitney electrical system.
  • Even with it being mechanically identical.
  • That driving this mufflerless shitbox to go be a boy scout leader somehow made me less uncool. Read More

The Bible is a blog

Just think about it – a bunch of smelly hippy dudes, writing down their stories – run ins with the law, road trips, dating woes – told and retold over the years and collected in one place.  Two thousand years after the fact, people like my sister treat that bullshit as

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Shoulda Woulda Coulda

My favorite band of the 80s has a new compilation CD called “Essential Oils.” It’s a decent effort for a band that has been defunct for 10+/- years.  If I were making this album, it would be live and feature this updated set list…

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A week ago, it was that girl with the boobs, from high school.  Last night it was Superstar, in all her best December ever glory.  She was back, but I was with Lurlene. I invited her to thanksgiving dinner, over Lurlene‘s gentle suggestion that i not.  So it was on  – all the shoulda woulda […]

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