Things Padlock Was Wrong About

That this car was in any way superior to my Fury.
Even with my JC Whitney electrical system.
Even with it being mechanically identical.
That driving this mufflerless shitbox to go be a boy scout leader somehow made me less uncool.
That lighting his own farts somehow made Padlock less uncool.
That someday soon, the chapter would have underground fortress house, with a giant party room.
(Pussy would rain from the heavens, the house would be so cool.)
(Even the Alpha Phis would uncross their legs – no diamonds required.)
That in our absence, the chapter could manage the old owned free and clear barn we gave them.
That Carlos Murphy’s was good for anything other than free appetizers.

Messenger Puppet