Chapter 2:  Cats and Microwaves: You’re Doing it Wrong

All of a sudden, a scream ripped out of the kitchen.  The microwave had malfunctioned.  Bruce lay in a mangled heap on the floor.  The cats were licking up the bloody mess. His retinas made a perverted half smile.  The cockroaches smiled back as they danced a macabre jig.

The explosion had knocked off Tracy’s hat from the sewing machine.  The needle was still stuck in it at a sickening angle.  Tim walked in on the middle of the disaster and immediately lost his chicken flautas.

“Ouch,” he cried, as the remains of his lunch splashed onto the shiny linoleum.  Lisa’s maid decided at that point that she would not do any more gringo jobs.  “These white folk be crazy, and shit”, she muttered under her breath which smelled distinctly of Jose Cuervo.

Upon the TV was Ronco “Slicer and Dicer” which Lisa used to chop up the little friskies ( with the two pussies, no less!).  One would think that the Pussies would mind but they really didn’t. Besides, if the food wasn’t pureed, Madie and Tanna tended to deposit hairballs on the brand new carpet which really pissed Lisa off.