Tell your children not to hear my words… (Starting with “No Title”)

Chapter 9: Oh God, You Went There

Back at [Girl]’s house, [Boy] was wearing dresses and begging for a Section 8.  [Girl] was puzzled.  She couldn’t decide if it was the real thing. She decided that [Boy]’s comment “fuck me” was the ultimate disgrace.  [Girl]  went home to mother, deciding that she could get ultimate gratification from her.  Later on, [Girl] thought that Dooley’s might be the next place that she went to fit herself with interspieces mixing, she bellied up to the bar, shifted her hips, and said, “I’m from a place called ‘Alice.’”  After hearing the no-response answer for the crowd, she said, “hey, you guys, I have a crotch too, ya know…”  The gang responded with “[Girl], yeah, but you’re married!”  Chastised, [Girl] decided to go visit a professional on the corner.  “What do I do now?” [Girl] asked.  Undaunted, the helper responded, “well, normally we don’t pay attention to the same frivolities that you do so we don’t respond the same way…”  [Girl] didn’t know what to think, nor did she understand what this person was talking about.  She thought they were kidding. She did not believe that she was married to [Boy], the “fuck King.” The whores quickly dispelled this fear by pointing out the fact that [Boy] the “fuck king” released all anxieties on them.  After the decision was reached that the virgin issue didn’t hold water in these days and times [Girl] went home to mother… who always gave her complete gratification.  Mom opened her arms to [Boy].

Undaunted… [Girl] joined the peace corps, had an affair with a missionary and felt very guilty!

[Ed.:  It would be so much easier to just say “the one about that motherfucker.”]

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