NOT ME: The one about college driving

CU-Boulder police: Student led officers on drunken car chase, lost wheel on U.S. 36 – Boulder Daily Camera.

At 1:04 a.m. today, an officer on foot patrol near the Benson Earth Sciences building spotted a Subaru Outback driving on a sidewalk with two flat tires. The officer attempted to wave down the driver, identified by CU police as Jennifer Greer, 22, but Greer continued to drive east on Colorado Avenue toward 28th Street.

A second officer in a patrol car saw Greer’s car and put on his emergency lights. Greer began to speed up to 60 mph and continued eastbound onto U.S. 36, where her vehicle lost a wheel and struck the median and came to a stop near the Table Mesa exit, according to CU police.

Greer was placed under arrest on suspicion of DUI, vehicular eluding, attempt to elude a police officer, DUI, lane use violation, failure to yield right of way, leaving the scene of an accident, divided highway violation and having an open alcoholic beverage in her vehicle.

According to the CU Independent:

According to a University News Release, at about 1 a.m., a CUPD officer saw and attempted to flag down a Subaru Outback driving on the sidewalk with two flat tires that was going east towards 28th and Colorado. The tire tracks in the snowfall indicated that the suspect’s car had come from the “lawn area near the Math Building.” At this time a civilian told the officer that the suspect had hit the median on Arapahoe and Folsom and caused two flat tires.

What did we learn?

  • Driving on a sidewalk with two flat tires?  +10 for style
  • 1:04 a.m. Monday morning?  I always said the wee hours of Monday mornings were the best times to err but the sweet spot is 2:30-4 a.m. when the cops are processing their few Sunday night DUIs or are standing outside Dunkin/Krispy Kreme chanting “open, open, open”
  • (For no particular reason, 6 am on Sundays is second best.  Even for churchies, that’s way the fuck too early to be up)
  • A Subaru Outback in Boulder?  A good choice for daylight offenses (John Law: “which of these 412 2009 blue Subaru Outbacks at the REI store was the suspect in?”) At night though, a Subie is the worst.  Granola bars and hemp fumes cause you to fall asleep listening to NPR by 8 or so.  Toyota 4Runner is the late-nite inconspicuous offendermobile (if reprobates haven’t messed with your locking hubs)
  • She needed to say “I wasn’t eluding the officer on foot.  I just couldn’t stop until I found a well-lit place to check my oil. I heard Subarus explode without oil.”
  • Nice display of charge creep, CUPD.  DUI and suspicion thereof.  Eluding and attempt.  You’re still amateurs. Real cop overkill would be Extreme DUI, Aggravated DUI, DUI, impaired driving, per se DUI and attempted DUI (for the crash – attempted driving -yeah, we’re hilarious like that) and failure to wear Columbia/North Face/REI sportswear while committing an outdoor winter felony.

mr toads wild ride

 

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