Let’s Go Shopping

It’s Sunday, time for mom for a few hours.

Mom is early.  Yay!  That’s different!  Mom is never early!

Kid gets to sit in front.  Yay!  That’s different!  Shotgun is usually taken by sister! Or boyfriend roommate ex-boyfriend fiance roommate fiance roommate boyfriend roommate!  Kid usually heads for the back door, expecting someone to be taking the prime spot.

Mom wants to go to the mall. Yay!  That’s not at all different! (But, sister isn’t here for mom to buy her stuff in front of the kid.)

Hey mom, can I go try on these jeans?
Sure, kid.

Yay!  That’s different! It’s like she sees her kid.

Hey mom, I only have half of what they cost.  Can you spot me the other $10.
Sorry, kid.  I don’t have any money.
*drinks a second pricey mall soda*
It’s your dad’s fault – he’s getting all my money.
*admires nails from weekly manicure*

Boo!  That’s not at all different either.  But it’s more fun (?) to piss on your kid’s hopes and her self image than doing boring old free things like walking in the park, or watching a movie together. Or just talking, maybe even about those mother daughter things that only they could share, if only mom would share. Or cook a meal together.

No, fuck that, let’s go to McDonalds for a $1 lard burger, since I have to buy your goddamned dinner too.  Here, lemme just turn up the radio just a little bit.  It’s Garth Paisley.

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