forklift

Amateur

Derek Jackson Pulled Over for DUI — While Driving Forklift Down Scottsdale Road at 2 a.m.

A Scottsdale man pulled over for DUI told police he was just trying to get home from a party when he was pulled over on Scottsdale Road around 2:30 a.m. yesterday… Jackson was driving a forklift that he had just stolen from a construction site outside Scottsdale Fashion Square mall… Jackson did not have an explanation for why he was driving a forklift, but claimed he was just trying to get home.According to information provided by Scottsdale police, Jackson “appeared disoriented and seemed to be under the influence of alcohol and/or drugs.”

In other words, he was “fucked up and stupid.”  Call us when you’re ready for the big leagues, kid.   Here’s how the pros do it:

  • broad daylight
  • witnesses (who won’t rat you out due to the awesomeness of the stunt)
  • Wheels?  Who needs wheels.  Heavy equipment is what gets the girls.  Bulldozers.

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