the Bear has jumped out of the pot of slowly boiling water that was life under mom’s roof. So, I declare victory. My kid is out and taking on the world more directly. Yay!
Am I thrilled that gaining that measure of independence did not come with true independence (there is a BF/roommate in the picture)? I had higher hopes. I do also understand the $ reality. Jump with compromises > not jumping.
I hope she remains true to getting her degree and following her dreams. I hope she doesn’t marry this kid, at least any time soon. I hope there is an opportunity for her to experience the exhilaration and terror of true independence.
But again, first and foremost, the corrosion is mostly arrested. Perhaps now, the reality of life out of the bubble can give the lie to (most of) the distorted, indulgent, toxic rhetoric that floated within it. Perhaps now, some other fences can be mended, now that she knows she had nothing to fear – now that she knows it would have been ok to give in to that urge to tell me sooner, like she wanted, that the doubts and cautions she felt were mostly creatures of a second hand fairy tale.
So yeah, victory.