On a Tuesday after work, we found ourselves at World of Beer. Lurleen met us on the patio, at the sticky railing* with a cold Kilt Lifter. *Why was the counter sticky? A question that will also arise later. With the Kurgan nowhere in sight and only mere mortals left to moon, it was time […]
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Curbhunter: it’s not for the weak or stupid or poor. Unlike so many other things in my life lately, two of three IS bad. This guy seems to have avoided all three:
- not poor, because: year old Range Rover
- not weak, because balls enough to park a Range Rover outside the shithole complex that makes Mesa Ridge Apartments look like luxury condos.
- Maybe that is stupid. So is overnight parking in general. But look in the front seat! A GIANT PUKE BUCKET! That is
malice aforethought Eagle Scout like preparation. You can’t always find a Hill Auditorium trash can when you need one.
MILLER FORTUNE IS A PREMIUM GOLDEN LAGER UNDISTILLED AT 6.9% ABV [!]. IT BOASTS A RICH, MALTY AROMA, A LIGHT BODY, AND A CRISP, CLEAN FINISH. BALANCED, YET UNEXPECTEDLY BOLD. Miller Fortune : Home It should read: MILLER FORTUNE IS PREMIUM Chevron UNleaded. It is the Sex Panther of shitty mass marketed quasi-malt liquor.
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Like last week, driving the kid to school is an adventure in poltergeists. This time, we hop in the car and this starts playing. Immediately. Spontaneously, on my phone. On Pandora. In my pocket. Is it an electronic glitch related to Kid 2’s failing phone? Is my phone possessed? Since it only happens in the […]
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The 10 Best Bond Villains – Esquire. James Bond is often only as good as his villains, which is why the Internet went nuts when rumors began circulating late last week that 007’s next adversary might be played by Chiwetel Ejiofor. The Oscar-nominated 12 Years a Slave star would be not only the rare black actor to face off against […]
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Kiss Mostly – But Not Entirely – Play Nice During Rock Hall Induction Speeches. Thanks for showing up, but fuck you all in the mouth for not finding a way to perform, make up or not.
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So I am kid 2 us driving to school. We stop at the Kwik-E-Mart for a beverage and some cash. We hop back in the car. As the car starts, from somewhere, the first few bars of this… start blasting. However, the radio is off (because: kid driving). WTH? Where’s that music from? Kid 2: Dad, that’s […]
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As we all know, KISS is finally being inducted into the hall of fame. And yes, they’re doing it on drama overload – invite all the past members, no performance because they’re all babies. All that shit that is all over the media. Last night I was listening to “Calling Dr. Love,” a tone poem of tribute to […]
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Oakland Cops Have a Spy Tool So Secret They Can’t Discuss It – Deadline Detroit. …Undersheriff Michael McCabe tells The News: “Hailstorm helps us capture fugitives from the law, people wanted for murder and rape” and can be used only with a search warrant. He said the federal Homeland Security Act bars him from discussing Hailstorm, but […]
Read more "Freedom Is Slavery"