On a Tuesday after work, we found ourselves at World of Beer.  Lurleen met us on the patio, at the sticky railing* with a cold Kilt Lifter.

*Why was the counter sticky?  A question that will also arise later.

With the Kurgan nowhere in sight and only mere mortals left to moon, it was time to switch.  Lurleen had a pole smoker [Ed.: JOSEPH JAMES BREWING SMOKIN’ POLES GRATZER]. We had a MOTHER ROAD GOLD ROAD and watched a French soldier some ASU kid fart blow his nose in our general direction.

The it was on to RUBICON & TWO RIVERS CIDER FRIEND OF THE DEVIL, “an unfiltered, strong Belgian Blonde made with 25% Apple Hill’s Barsotti apple juice and a Belgian yeast strain.”

No Belgian blonde was anywhere to be found, strong, unfiltered or otherwise.  Instead, there was a 25-year-old tattoo princess down from Flagstaff, drinking beer and winning trivia.  Or rather her inked up boyfriend was winning trivia.  Or would if any of us were playing.

Important trivia moment: Jupiter has 67 moons.  I didn’t have any.

After a slim portion of TAVERN TATERS (“Tater tots topped with our house made Beer Cheese, pickled jalapeños, crispy bacon, scallions & sour cream”) and some screaming and impending flamethrowing due to the peppers, we transitioned to the predictable but tasty Boulder Singletrack Ale while splitting a small HONEY HAM & CHEDDAR PRETZEL SANDWICH.

For 90 bucks though (including tip), Cheetah’s for free lunch $1 u calls and many, many lap dances sounds like a better option.