All the Young Dudes

Dear America

As a human being, an American, a college graduate and a third-degree member of Phi Sigma Kappa, I am aghast at the conduct of SAE at the University of Oklahoma. I’m not terribly surprised, though.  SAE has always been synonymous with dickweed (at least at Western and ASU). Back in the day, SAEs were notorious moneyed assholes. At ASU, in just the last couple of years:

A friend has a kid at ASU, looking to go Greek. I told him “anyone but SAE.” This is not an exclusive, because the ASU Dekes and Tekes and Pikes and Sig Eps are all douchenozzles too. SAE is worse. SAE’s vices are endemic. SAE’s recent troubles are not new, just more widely publicized.

Still, let’s pump the breaks on the Gawker (and others’) campaign to ban all fraternities. You GDI dorks have no idea what the paradigm is. It’s not all rich twits behaving badly.  It’s not slobbering drunks collecting cirrhosis and STDs.  It’s not about misogynistic felonies, racist exclusivity or  even “buying friends.”

It’s about brotherhood and a common bond and shared experiences. and those sweet moments of camaraderie (or reflexive leg humping) at an FAC or a kegger. That can’t be bought, even by the moneyed bastards in SAE and Sigma Chi. What your dues can buy is beers for friends. And foofy umbrella-tini drinks for chicks, some of whom may even become friends once their leg burns heal. All this other Fratboys Gone Wild shit nonsense is add on crap – a bastardization of the ideal like a dealer added fake convertible roof.

So fuck, SAE. They’re not galactically reviled for nothing. But drop the crusade before you kill off all the good things. Like the best 7 years of college ever.

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