No More Late Night Chicken

L.A. LAW -- Season 5 -- Pictured: (l-r) Susan Dey as Grace Van Owen, Corbin Bernsen as Arnie Becker -- Photo by: NBC/NBCU Photo Bank
L.A. LAW — Season 5 — Pictured: (l-r) Susan Dey as Grace Van Owen, Corbin Bernsen as Arnie Becker — Photo by: NBC/NBCU Photo Bank

Or maybe it was the road food.How often do you get a chance to bang Grace van Owen? Just when I was about to find out, Arnie Becker showed up. Apparently, they had a thing going.

The massage got a little [more] awkward with an audience. I have no explanation for the massage oil turning into some gritty mood killing combination of Noxema and plaster of paris.

The conversation was as twisted as the agenda Arnie had in mind. He watches too much porn. Way too much. [Ed.: Use your imagination.] They both seemed to have the requisite “morally casual attitude,” which meant that I still had a chance, if I could just be a laid back Californian about it all.

But no, not me.  Too many variables to process.Too many plot twists that were zigs when I desperately preferred to zag. It was suddenly time for me to opt out before Arnie got confused. All the questions about my albino forearms

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