“I’m a horrible person”

I should never have watched Saw or House of 1000 Corpses. Somehow, my Cast Away adventure with Dan Patrick the sportscaster turned into Lord of the Flies with a bunch of crazy ass people. Hungry, amoral, crazy ass people bent on changing my life irreparably.

Bloodshed ensued. Then abject horror.

“I’m a horrible person”

Then tears.

“I’m a horrible person”

My life was forfeit. Except thankfully I woke up. The kids are safe and grown. None of it actually happened, but the failing and the pain seemed all too real nonetheless.

Goddam cannibals. Goddam coconut bludgeons. Goddam Rob Zombie.

 

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