The End

Mötley Crüe: The End was tonight.

I love Nikki. Tommy is an atomic gerbil on meth. Mick Mars died 10 years ago but refuses to move to the next life. But God damn you, Vince Neil! Here is my 4-word review of Mötley Crüe: The End: VINCE NEIL[‘s] MONITOR TECH*. Vince has a goddam teleprompter. I get it. His speaking voice sounds fucked up, like he has to sing through dentures or something. OK. He’s been part of this band for most of its almost 35 years. That’s a lot of songs. Zoom (on the bass) here – lots and lots of songs. Fucking Walter Cronkite had a teleprompter. I get it.
The End

Even so, songs have words, Vince. Your singing is worse than your guitar playing. For a point of reference, your guitar playing seems to be worse than me on the bass. But you’ve got a fucking teleprompter and someone to run it. WHY CAN’T YOU SING THE WORDS? This is a concert, not a 30-minute pig orgasm. Lyrics matter. Enunciation, at least above a grunt level, matters. I’ll miss Nikki, and Tommy, and even Mick.  You? You’re like my friend Chris, who smoked his lunch at high school, got arrested for turfing the school in the family Buick. He was supposed to be a homeless junkie or dead in prison by 30. Except Chris got his shit together – ran a business, sold it and is now a published author.

Why is Chris different? Words. He learned them. He uses them. Look into it in your next incarnation, dude.

Vince and his predictably gibberished lyric slurring was the second worst part of this one night only movie.

Third worst was the set list.  Thanks for not playing “Sex.” Get bent for playing the same basic setlist from the first time I saw you. Last show dudes. You couldn’t fnd a way to fit in Afraid? You’re all i need? Seriously – why not start the show earlier than 10 fucking thirty?

The worst worst part is I had tickets to see this last show live, but at the last minute couldn’t go. The best part is everything else in this flick. Three stars of four. One each to Nikki, Tommy and Mick. As for Vince:

Judge Smails

*- In the version on TV, it said monitor engineer or something.

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