Do the Blog Thing

A million years ago, I had young kids, a Jeep, a wife who sorta loathed me and a job that bored me. And cable internet and a digital camera and a President that I kind of ranted about constantly. And stories. Lots and lots of stories. Usually stupid, mundane things.

I wanted a soapbox to tell my truths. Even if they were actually lies, or mostly imaginary. The challenge was to make them amusing to my audience. This was kind of a low bar, since my “audience,” such as it was, was myself and a couple of friend/contributors.

So how to dump this maelstrom of oh f*** I’m 40, but I’ve got all these THINGS to say on an unsuspecting internet? This was 2004. No smartphones, no Facebook. The Twitters had not been invented.

But there were these things called “blogs.” God, what a stupid name. I didn’t want a “blog.” I wasn’t a “blogger.” I wanted a “website” where I could post things in serial fashion as I thought of them, augmented by pictures and video.* [Ed.: That is the very definition of a blog, genius.]*Just as soon as they invent the YouTubes.

Enter BlogHarbor. I had 30 days to test drive it for free. Way easier to figure out the first platform than Blogger. So I pulled the trigger. Updating my new website [Ed.: Blogging.] kept me off the street, and the $8.95/mo. was a lot cheaper than strippers and cocaine. Or a criminal divorce lawyer. About a month into this adventure, I discovered Purple Car. She was funny and outspoken, and we found ourselves as kindred spirits trying to navigate this brave new world of blasting our thoughts into cyberspace for all to see. And just beyond was this community of BlogHarborers. um, BlogHarborites? BlogHarbingers? [Ed.: in your case, just go with BlogHarbore. Trust me.] There was the Mets guy and Accordion guy. [Ed.: Add in Purp and the animated sweat sock and it was like you were the Nerd Superfriends.]

Judge Smails (voiceover): Meanwhile, in Mom’s basement the Great Hall of the Justice League of Superbloggers…

Three years later, BlogHarbor was dead. [Ed.: Maybe you shouldn’t have let Ted McGinley guest post.] From the ashes rose PRESSHarbor, and now we were (too) legit. We were on the WordPress, like real bloggers. Oh crap. Look out, world.

And now, a million years later, just look at us:

  • Purple Car is a serious writer.
  • Joey Davilla gets about a million more views a day than we do.
  • We’re still run by a troop of drunken monkeys, doing stupid stuff and cluttering the tubes with “blog” stories.
It’s no coincidence this series of tubes looks like sewer pipes. Once we hit “publish” anyway. 

The common strain in this adventure has been Blog- now PressHarbor. It’s aces. The cost is right. The service is unbeatable. I have other properties on the web. If I’m working with WordPress, this is the only place I go. And not just for the volume discount when I signed on. PH has been unfailingly loyal and supportive. My downtime is virtually nil. When a rogue plug-in tanked my site, they were right on it, helping me dx and undo the error. When WordPress has a new version, they test-fit it to make sure our sites will stay up, and then update us. Except me, because I pretty much ignore the best practices and just update ASAP like a kid on Christmas morning. PH never chastises me for my impatience.

So thanks, PH. For the memories. The space to indulge my inner weirdo. The bandwidth to do that voodoo that I do. I’m excited to see the upgrades/updates/free kittens you have in store for us old timers and the next generation.

Can we please do something about that word “blogger,” though?

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