Tattoo You

For most of the last 20 years or so, my kids would ask me about tattoos. My grandpa had a prison homemade one, my brother has several. I would always tell them I was not a big fan of them getting tattoos – as my children, they were perfect as is. HOWEVER, if they decided […]

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Dear Groggys

You earned your name last night. My pint of Stella tasted like it had a shot of vodka in it. And yeah, I was groggy shortly after. That’s my excuse for this: “It puts the lotion on its skin…” Evidently I suck at #phonesex — Messenger Puppet (@messengerpuppet) August 29, 2015 “Are those the panties […]

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Cops Suck

Let’s suppose you went to a bar and had that dastardly second beer.  Let’s say that after repeating this process 157 times that night, you were stupid enough to drive.  And got caught.  And arrested.  This is what Arizona cops will do to you.

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Beer Reviews: Death From ABoVe

MILLER FORTUNE IS A PREMIUM GOLDEN LAGER UNDISTILLED AT 6.9% ABV [!]. IT BOASTS A RICH, MALTY AROMA, A LIGHT BODY, AND A CRISP, CLEAN FINISH. BALANCED, YET UNEXPECTEDLY BOLD.  Miller Fortune : Home It should read: MILLER FORTUNE IS PREMIUM Chevron UNleaded.  It is the Sex Panther of shitty mass marketed quasi-malt liquor.

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