The Complete Opposite of “10”

The Complete Opposite of “10” is “She’s Out of Your League.”  Both are about dorks chasing girls laced with unobtanium.  It’s in the details where one rises and one fails.  In four words: Kirk Needs to STFU (or “another lame chick movie” or “where are the boobs”) Movie 10 League Great Actresses (i.e., naked)? Constantly Uh, […]

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End of the Year Filler

Sucked suits against crazy ladies Didn’t suck getting fired from one Sucked getting fired from one for costing too much and taking too long Didn’t suck Winning everything I did. Winning everything I started and the other guy finished, on the arguments I made. Seeing that the case is still dragging on Didn’t suck ending […]

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A voice from the past

— my own From: pastme@futureme.org Dear FutureMe, have you gotten laid yet? Still talking to Molly? Today, Dr [Happy Finish] ordered an ultrasound for your nads. Still got them? XXOO Your former self ———————————————————– 1. Yes.  Unrelated in every way to #2. Shoulda, woulda, coulda.  Stupid divorce hangover. 2. Not for a while. Sadly. 3. Yes, […]

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Not so stupid after all

now that gas is headed to $3… This is June 1990 at the 8 Barrel ranch. At this point, the Festiva has suffered a critical ass implosion, which is wholly unrelated to 30 foot anacondas. Hence the 70 hp Suzuki Swift to the right. 1988 Festiva L Plus. Plus what? Plus a truck enema. 12/88-6/90 […]

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BEST. DECEMBER. EVER.

It’s true . My kids are happy. I am happy. Really, really. 11/16 – Superior Court signs “Emancipation Proclamation” (Technically not “December,” but it’s like a predicate fact or some s***.) 12/2 – Mad props to Woody & Pod for a fantastic party. E-mail forwarding > *. 12/9 – Ex-Governor Mofford admires my freshly taut […]

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