Author Archive for Gonzo di Dottore

Gonzo di Dottore is a noted author, poet, photographer and bon vivant. Or was that savant. It's hard to tell sometimes. [He's not a real doctor, dumbass.]

The War Council is disbanded. – Me, after a frank and refreshing talk with the ex-Mrs.


It’s really true EVERYTHING in life has a Star Trek analogue.  Especially if you include the clunky TOS first season.


a river in africa

The huntress revealed

Solve this dilemma

Your kid needs to print something on Sunday night at 8. Your printer is out of ink. Replacement ink costs about $75. Staples has your ink.  Staples is closed.  Best Buy probably has your ink.  Best Buy is definitely closed.  Target is open, but doesn’t have your ink. Target does sell printers that come with ink for $60 or less.…


The Day After

I had to write this three days after.  The immediate day after was filled with pain.  Not the pain of jail.  Not the pain of getting caught by the bouncer fucking a stripper.  Not the debilitating pain of “I thought a 40 of OE made sense after a 6 pack of Coors light.” No, Tuesday was the pain of a…

The important thing to remember about ex-wives is that you divorced their ass for a reason.  By all means be civil, but that new her is still based on the old her. Don’t be fooled by the attractive package. – Me, after a surprisingly cordial crossing of paths.

UPDATE:  It’s worth it to have an actual two sided conversation.  There is much to learn, genius boy. Perhaps one listened to bad advice instead of opening a dialog. Perhaps one should have gone with one’s gut, rather than the reflex of the war council.

The Day Before

…the morning after.  It’s 24 hours earlier and we are not in jail, not dead, not hungover.  No present need for penicillin or alibi witnesses. The future need for a shower and a second job to cover the expenses looms.


Like this, but with less owls.

Hopefully the boy will appreciate the generosity of old guys, and not focus on the weirdness of a bachelor swan song with no friends around to share the experience and tell the tales.  Or not tell the tales, under penalty of death, depending on the particular laws of the jurisdiction.

Watch this space for the gory aftermath, if any.



Gonzo di Dottore

Dr. Strangelove

New month, updated failsafe measures. Same triggers.



No, this is not a Weird Al spoof of a forgettable Motley Crue song. I’m in a quandary.  Winston Smith is dead.  No, it wasn’t from the rat.

Anyhoo, he left cookies – an open bag.  Is it wrong to eat one? The cookies don’t have a soul, right? An open back is nearly valueless, yes?

These are the questions I struggle with, to avoid real questions like who goes to the thing, what now with the kid and do I deliver what I wrote.