Tony Clifton

I am an International singing sensation. I've sold more albums than Elvis and the Beatles COMBINED.

Maybe it was the rats

jack daniels whiskey

Maybe it was the rats, squeaking, and waiting to pounce. Maybe it was the gurgle of some unspeakably horrible, probably biologic fluid being illegally dumped (allegedly) in some nearby corridor.  Something woke me.  It wasn’t the daylight, because this godforsaken place seemed unfamiliar with direct sunlight. I looked around. “OK, I’m stumped.”  Glasses: gone. I checked…

Fredo Wang: the StifMeister

fredo wang

What the hell is the point of “pussy wagon” on the tailgate of this Dodge truck? For the longest time, some Dodge truck trims were called “Power Wagons.”  Then Chrysler started calling their trucks “Dodge Ram.”  A couple years ago, they dropped the “Dodge” in favor of simply “Ram.”  With that history as a backdrop…

A moment ago

(CC) Peggy Davis 66 (Flickr)

From two hours ago: Moe:  There is no evidence that some drunk guy was drunk. Me:  He blew a .4. Moe:  There is no evidence that some drunk guy is responsible for having his ass beat. Me:  He talked shit to those guys that did it. So said the one trying to get out of…

How Did We Go So Wrong?

Lincoln Mark VII LSC

Evolution is not always a positive change… Both the Mark VII and the Aztek were risky breaks from tradition.  Both were buffered down from the original proposals. The older one says “even so, I still look classy.” The Aztek still says “Absinthe is a helluva drug.”

Stop running into people.

Porsche Cayenne

Stop running into people. - Superstar Words to live by… You know me – ordinarily no parked car is safe.  No pedestrian is safe (especially when they’re next to a puddle). Not just one, two idiots tried to run me down in a parking lot.  One was half successful.  Read the whole story at Drive-By Shootings: Just when…

ACID FLASHBACK THURSDAY: University Lincoln Mercury

1959 Edsel

Car of the Week: 1972 Honda Z600 – Old Cars Weekly. A million years ago, there was a car dealer called University Lincoln Mercury.  Innocuous building, two doors down from the Minute Market. Used cars were sold out of a trailer on a dirt mound in the middle of the lot.  Behind the dirt mound,…

Damage Control: Zombie Edition

Joe Paterno

The Glove didn’t fit – Wick Sollers Chewbacca – Johnny Cochran Basically, We love Joe so you’re misreading the evidence, mr. report.  The emails to Joe didn’t mean Paterno, they meant Piscopo. Or the Plumber.  Somebody said something different, so your argument is invalid. I have a few thoughts: HE’S FUCKING DEAD. This is about…

Porn Creep. Or…

yikes

You dirty whore.   I took up blogging as a way to vent about that one bitch and dump the cobwebbed effluvia clogging my brain.  At the time, blogging was the province of nerds and geeks.  At the same time this joint started, we had a secretary who moonlighted in the photographic arts. That creeped into the…