Car and Driver

I have a car and I drive it

Who’ll stop the rain?

wrecked Altima

We had a Christmas party about 10 days ago.  On the way home, one of the secretaries (Sharon) had a small issue with the car in front of her.  This was the result.   But that is just the start of the problem. It never rains but it pours. 

Things you learn by listening

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Previously, I argued that publicity portended the death of Hookers and Squirrels the “Motorsports gathering” (née Cars and Coffee) in Scottsdale.  Me, as an avowed hater of the city and idealized lifestyle of Scottsdale, fully expected that the city would take notice of this completely Constitutional gathering and start whining about “event” permits and other bureaucratic…

Fancy Parking For Dummies

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What is Fancy Parking? Fancy Parking is many things to many people. It’s a way of life, a philosophy, a global movement, and honestly, any attempt to define it would be an insult to Thousands of Fancy Parkers worldwide. But essentially it’s reversing your car into a parking space… This is easier said then done.  If…

Soul: Sold

McLaren mp4 x 3

What a difference a couple of months makes. Suddenly (or so it seems), Cars and Coffee has turned into post-Soviet Russia.  No more rigid no ads, no promoting policies.  It’s open season. Suddenly, the “event” has outside corporate presenters. Yay capitalism. (This time: McLaren Scottsdale).  Just as suddenly, no one gives a shit about the…

It never rains but it pours

Steve McCroskey Airplane

Just as we’re about to launch a major escalation in our moonlighting… the day job rears it’s ugly head and says “hold on there.”  But we’re undeterred.  We’re coming for you, automotive press.  And yeah, it’s gonna be more like Jesse Pinkman, and less like Edward R. Murrow.

Monday Musing

1978 Lincoln Continental Town Car

Am I turning into my grandfathers? Last year it was this: This was the old man’s dream:  power windows, power locks, power motor, plus style and gravitas. Karma: I don’t think he lusted after the falling apart piece of shitness of this particular example. He had the money, but had to wait for the old lady…

Zinda, his face black, his eyes red. But not for long.

Ferrari 458 World on Fire

In our last episode, the great truck hunt was down to 3 finalists.  There was one clear favorite, lack of hemi notwithstanding. We took it easy yesterday, being wickedly hungover a bit peeved at Buck, our sales rep for a terse and kinda rude exchange Saturday about valuing a trade. Karma:  also because Lurleen, uh,…

And Then There Were Three?

2013 CPO RAM

So i am looking for new wheels.  I want to be up higher, esp for some of the photo ideas i have. Also, this is a good year for some extra writeoffs, like a sales tax whale. Lurleen has dreams of a trailer.  So, the new whatever needs: tow ability; room for Lurleen, kid(s) and/or…

Tex Earnhardt Can KMA

2014 Dodge Ram 1500

I hate car dealers Lurlene wants a camper trailer. Me: Uh, OK.  What would we tow it with? Dodge Ram:  Hey sailor.  Look at what I’m packing under this hood. Annoying voice of reality:  You DO realize those fuckers cost $30K, right? Never fear, Tex Earnhardt is here.  He has what is quite nearly the…


Bugatti Type 57

The fine folks who turned cars and coffee into Hookers and Squirrels “the motorsports gathering” are a couple of steps ahead of our prediction model the fire chief was also present, and because of the size and sheer number of cars present many people are insisting on parking in the fire lanes.  The fire chief…