Category Archives: Car and Driver

I have a car and I drive it

wrecked Altima

Who’ll stop the rain?

We had a Christmas party about 10 days ago.  On the way home, one of the secretaries (Sharon) had a small issue with the car in front of her.  This was the result.

wrecked Altima wrecked Altima


But that is just the start of the problem. It never rains but it pours.  Continue reading

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PageLines- fancyparking-2.jpg

Things you learn by listening

Previously, I argued that publicity portended the death of Hookers and Squirrels the “Motorsports gathering” (née Cars and Coffee) in Scottsdale.  Me, as an avowed hater of the city and idealized lifestyle of Scottsdale, fully expected that the city would take notice of this completely Constitutional gathering and start whining about “event” permits and other bureaucratic bullshit cities impose. I thought it would lead to cops, and eventually to tying the cop expense directly to the event, killing it.

I was not 100% correct in my premise. Continue reading

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Fancy Parking For Dummies

What is Fancy Parking?
Fancy Parking is many things to many people. It’s a way of life, a philosophy, a global movement, and honestly, any attempt to define it would be an insult to Thousands of Fancy Parkers worldwide. But essentially it’s reversing your car into a parking space

This is easier said then done.  If you’re driving a Pinto with a glass hatch and think to fold the rear seat down ahead of time, no problem.  But what about a 1978 Lincoln Continental?  It’s 20 feet long and at least half that length is behind you. Good luck guesstimating where the rear of the car ends and an unfortunately placed light pole at the convenience store begins, especially through gunslit windows and puny mirrors. Continue reading

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McLaren mp4 x 3

Soul: Sold

What a difference a couple of months makes.

Suddenly (or so it seems), Cars and Coffee has turned into post-Soviet Russia.  No more rigid no ads, no promoting policies.  It’s open season.

McLaren mp4 x 3

Suddenly, the “event” has outside corporate presenters. Yay capitalism. (This time: McLaren Scottsdale).  Just as suddenly, no one gives a shit about the unofficial capitalists. Continue reading

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1978 Lincoln Continental Town Car

Monday Musing

Am I turning into my grandfathers? Last year it was this:

1978 Lincoln Continental Town Car

This was the old man’s dream:  power windows, power locks, power motor, plus style and gravitas.

Karma: I don’t think he lusted after the falling apart piece of shitness of this particular example.

He had the money, but had to wait for the old lady to die off before he could spend it freely on the car he always wanted.

This year, it’s this: Continue reading

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Ferrari 458 World on Fire

Zinda, his face black, his eyes red. But not for long.

In our last episode, the great truck hunt was down to 3 finalists.  There was one clear favorite, lack of hemi notwithstanding.

2013 CPO RAM
We took it easy yesterday, being wickedly hungover a bit peeved at Buck, our sales rep for a terse and kinda rude exchange Saturday about valuing a trade.

Karma:  also because Lurleen, uh, hoped we would reconsider the utility of a pickup rolling on 20s

“He can just call us if he wants to deal,” we pouted, because “fuck him” we’re the customer. Continue reading

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2013 CPO RAM

And Then There Were Three?

2013 CPO RAM

So i am looking for new wheels.  I want to be up higher, esp for some of the photo ideas i have. Also, this is a good year for some extra writeoffs, like a sales tax whale.

Lurleen has dreams of a trailer.  So, the new whatever needs: tow ability; room for Lurleen, kid(s) and/or dogs.  Front bench seat and column shift; V8 and rwd, so I wont miss the Lincoln (too much) are huge plusses.  Hands free phone and a killer radio for when I am parked in rush hour are bonus.

Option 1 -2013 RAM, uplevel trim, right radio and gauges,  CPO15K miles, 4.7L V-8;not a hemi. Continue reading

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2014 Dodge Ram 1500

Tex Earnhardt Can KMA


Lurlene wants a camper trailer.

Me: Uh, OK.  What would we tow it with?

Dodge Ram:  Hey sailor.  Look at what I’m packing under this hood.

Annoying voice of reality:  You DO realize those fuckers cost $30K, right?

Never fear, Tex Earnhardt is here.  He has what is quite nearly the perfect truck.  No, not $30,380.  Just $23,999!

Me:  OK!  Sounds great!
Tex:  Just wait!  There is a special internet price!
Me:  Even less?! What is it?!
*crickets* [Ed.:  No Response to Email.]

Also… Continue reading

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Bugatti Type 57


The fine folks who turned cars and coffee into Hookers and Squirrels “the motorsports gathering” are a couple of steps ahead of our prediction model

the fire chief was also present, and because of the size and sheer number of cars present many people are insisting on parking in the fire lanes.  The fire chief made the cars move, but warned us that if the fire lanes continue to be blocked, he will pull the permit and shut the event down.

We all thoroughly enjoy this event and it would be a shame to lose it, but it is up to you.  If you arrive and there are no spots in the main display area, PLEASE DON’T PARK IN THE FIRE LANES!  He said that before he closes the event, he will ticket and tow cars that are in the lane.
Evidently, someone is already running permits for this thing.  We were wrong about that issue springing up. (also about them havibng any say over who parks where.)
But, between the post-fluff piece attendance spikes, the stepped up cop presence the last two months and now the fire chief playing big dick in the room trolling for free coffee, we still think the clock is ticking on this event in its current form at this location.

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