Messenger Puppet

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Not Me

Police: Sleeping man blocked road with car
by Clarissa Dodge - Nov. 10, 2008 01:53 PMThe Arizona Republic
A 35-year-old man was arrested after police found him slumped over the steering wheel of his vehicle, which had three open cans of beer and was blocking a major road, according to a report.  Mesa police found Rodriguez Martinez [...]

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I’m fuckin’ out of beer, man

I’m fuckin’ out of beer, man
-  Me, every day since Friday.
This time it’s voluntary.  Work never sleeps.  Football ain’t started yet.  Baseball is as dead to me as the Tigers’ season or John McCain’s campaign.  So, we’re on a break.

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Not me

Drunk man held for disrupting traffic in Ann Arbor
Posted by Art Aisner | The Ann Arbor News July 09, 2008 12:35PM
Ann Arbor police arrested a man who was walking in and out of downtown traffic Tuesday afternoon, reports said.  Officers were called about a man who was disrupting traffic flow by walking into lanes of [...]

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Not Me

Police discover man fighting with self
by Jennifer D’Ottavio - Jul. 1, 2008 08:48 AMThe Arizona Republic
Police arrested a Mesa man Monday night after they received a report of a couple fighting, but found the man fighting with himself…

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My ex-neighbor Howard

If this were 1970 or so, and the dude was 20 years younger and not a meth head…

Police chase man suspected of defecating in yard
by Lisa Halverstadt - Jun. 30, 2008 03:59 PMThe Arizona Republic
A Phoenix man was arrested Friday night after defecating and urinating on the side of a Tempe home and then running [...]

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ACID FLASHBACK THURSDAY: 1986 Dodge Ram Van

With it’s spaceship-like good looks, and bench seats, this is the perfect van for your clan of homeschooled robot children.  Or jackbooted thugs campaign workers and “government contractors.”
- Actual Dodge ad.
Why talk about this shitbox?  I saw four - FOUR - of these before lunch today, and the one pictured –> is a clone [...]

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Caption This

Famous Last Words:  Jr. will be right in, after he parks the GTO.
Nothing happened last night, right?  RIGHT?!
To cops:  Why no, officer, I was home all night reading the bible and knitting.
Did you hear something?  Nah, go back to sleep.
Attention all units,be on the look out for a brown Opel Kadett with no headlights.

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Beer Bongs from Hell

or in Hell
 
Beerly departed: man has custom-made beer coffin | Metro.co.uk

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New York New York

Despite what your drunken penis-brain tells you, that hot redhead who reminds you of Louise (Padlock’s girlfriend) on the hysterical historical geology road trip to Niagara Falls is NOT hot for you. This is not the first time you will confuise a girl that talks to you with one who is interested. 
 It’s a really simple [...]

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Not that there’s anything wrong with that…

Jewel-Osco : home of “drug food.” And recurring gay themes.

It’s Monday. Unload the truck then head to upper crust for pizza and beer. Skip the pizza. Find yourself married to some chick who tried to fix you up with a guy at the bar the first time you meet her outside [...]