Don’t Forget Your Towel

Somehow I missed last month’s 10 year anniversary of the end of my 3-year exile to Antarctica and the 2 years of recovering from frostbite. I may have been distracted by the then-looming slight possibility (something like two to the power of twenty-five thousand to one against) of ending a similar streak. Karma: Think again, Bright Boy.

Read more "Don’t Forget Your Towel"

Another Tuesday Night

and I ain’t got nobody I got some no money ’cause I just got paid fucking sent home again, until Thursday Now, how I wish I had someone to talk to I’m in an awful way, But I have beer (no, not with Ray – we know how that ends) and Star Wars reruns, so I’ve got […]

Read more "Another Tuesday Night"

Advice from Women

If it looks funny, feels funny or smells funny, it’s NOT going in my mouth. – a woman There goes that plot twist, I guess – me This may just be about food. Sometimes a cat licking a banana is simply a cat licking a banana.

Read more "Advice from Women"

Goddammit

Goddammit.

– Me, after doing the due diligence a little late.

Evidently, I don’t get to both express myself freely and do so without risking some sort of “your self-deprecating jokes are hurtful to me” response, even though there’s no names and no point about anyone else. There’s gotta be a Costanza for this moment of Zen.

George Costanza Fail

Nah, too meta.

Read more "Goddammit"

“Girlfriend” Is Better

Not just in this song ^^, but in the real world too. Better than “wife.” Better than “I haven’t looked at the issue, but I sure wish Arizona recognized common law marriage.” [Ed.: it doesn’t, and if it had, you didn’t qualify anyway.] Because “girlfriend” means no commitments or promises you did not explicitly undertake. And […]

Read more "“Girlfriend” Is Better"

Never Drink With Ray

A word to the wise. It starts with Bud Light and too much sun. Before you know it, this ^^ seems like a good idea. It’s OK, because you’re a pro at this. And, you’ve got a tenant you want to bang. At least right now. Sober, you’re like this:

Read more "Never Drink With Ray"