#UberLife

Driving for Uber is a lot like the singles scene: some chicks don’t see you; some will give a great conversation. Always, you go home alone.

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Scraping

The thing about the über diet is that what it lacks in calories, taste or substance, it makes up for in lowered Coors Light tolerance. That explains the fact of responding to 2007’s “back in the saddle” girl’s stupid text. I have no explanation for failing to call her to order a nostalgic booty call, […]

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Goddam You, Ray

You and your “get yourself another beer.” And your “yeah, you can take a couple with you.” A girl gave me her phone number. I probably shouldn’t have called her. I had a different girl’s number; she had the sense not to pick up. Texting Pro Tip: texting “sleeping” means you’re not. By this point, […]

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Wanna Make $14 the Hard Way?

Actually, Eric the fuckface inspired the title. This asshole decided to hoard work. He checked out 25% of the remaining work in a project. No one else could work it. Then he took a break because “fuck you, I got mine.” This after we all got an email saying once your batch is done, you’re […]

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What to drive

1976 Pontiac Firebird Trans Am
The view looks like this, except with infinity more completely disinterested hot college girls

or rather do the crow’s nest in, from the back seat, as Pod eases through a sea of drunk Greek assholes and wenches. Then later, get out among your people and cop some feels.

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