What did we learn?
- “Hold on, I’m tweeting this” is not the right answer
Fat Drunk & Stupid
Stupid drunken things not to do. Tales from the edge of madness
Goddammit
Goddammit.
– Me, after doing the due diligence a little late.
Evidently, I don’t get to both express myself freely and do so without risking some sort of “your self-deprecating jokes are hurtful to me” response, even though there’s no names and no point about anyone else. There’s gotta be a Costanza for this moment of Zen.
Nah, too meta.
Read more "Goddammit"“Girlfriend” Is Better
Not just in this song ^^, but in the real world too. Better than “wife.” Better than “I haven’t looked at the issue, but I sure wish Arizona recognized common law marriage.” [Ed.: it doesn’t, and if it had, you didn’t qualify anyway.] Because “girlfriend” means no commitments or promises you did not explicitly undertake. And […]
Read more "“Girlfriend” Is Better"Never Drink With Ray
A word to the wise. It starts with Bud Light and too much sun. Before you know it, this ^^ seems like a good idea. It’s OK, because you’re a pro at this. And, you’ve got a tenant you want to bang. At least right now. Sober, you’re like this:
Read more "Never Drink With Ray"Why not?
Not like a friendzone thing, because #norules
Tinder Mercies
The thing with Doyette. Or whatever the fuck her name was:
Doyette (OWTFHNW): Hi. How’s your day?
Me: Great. How’s yours.
Later…
Doyette (after a few vodka craberries, I am guessing): Asshole
Me: Learn a new word.
Read more "Tinder Mercies"
So, what’ll it be, Master?
Me: Man, i wish I didn’t fuck that drunk Uber chick last night. Genie: Boom, granted.
Read more "So, what’ll it be, Master?"#UberLife
Driving for Uber is a lot like the singles scene: some chicks don’t see you; some will give a great conversation. Always, you go home alone.
Read more "#UberLife"Trailer Nation
When your neighbor shows up to mandatory drug testing and blows a 0.3, plus has weed and meth in his system. #FredoWang
Read more "Trailer Nation"Killer Clowns
blind parkour leaping from skyscraper to skyscraper and family gatherings where Buzzkill can not only get the joke, she can tell her own. Also, the entire family thinks you are headed for a homeless shelter – no, you can’t just go live in Mom’s basement. What happens in your warped mental kingdom when your late […]
Read more "Killer Clowns"