Stupid drunken things not to do. Tales from the edge of madness
You start off by cock-blocking me at work? Nice. Thanks for that, and the day long repetition. I don’t need your help failing with the women. You end by…
Read more "What the Hell, Tuesday?"
What did we learn?
Goddammit.
– Me, after doing the due diligence a little late.
Evidently, I don’t get to both express myself freely and do so without risking some sort of “your self-deprecating jokes are hurtful to me” response, even though there’s no names and no point about anyone else. There’s gotta be a Costanza for this moment of Zen.
Nah, too meta.
Read more "Goddammit"Not just in this song ^^, but in the real world too. Better than “wife.” Better than “I haven’t looked at the issue, but I sure wish Arizona recognized common law marriage.” [Ed.: it doesn’t, and if it had, you didn’t qualify anyway.] Because “girlfriend” means no commitments or promises you did not explicitly undertake. And […]
Read more "“Girlfriend” Is Better"A word to the wise. It starts with Bud Light and too much sun. Before you know it, this ^^ seems like a good idea. It’s OK, because you’re a pro at this. And, you’ve got a tenant you want to bang. At least right now. Sober, you’re like this:
Read more "Never Drink With Ray"Not like a friendzone thing, because #norules
The thing with Doyette. Or whatever the fuck her name was:
Doyette (OWTFHNW): Hi. How’s your day?
Me: Great. How’s yours.
Later…
Doyette (after a few vodka craberries, I am guessing): Asshole
Me: Learn a new word.
Read more "Tinder Mercies"
Me: Man, i wish I didn’t fuck that drunk Uber chick last night. Genie: Boom, granted.
Read more "So, what’ll it be, Master?"Thank you Sirius First Wave for the shoutout to Chi Tetarton ca. Winter ’85 and “Hot at the Phi Sigs.” Some of TC’s finest work right there. Ask Hank, he’ll tell you.
Read more "Strangers…"Driving for Uber is a lot like the singles scene: some chicks don’t see you; some will give a great conversation. Always, you go home alone.
Read more "#UberLife"