Messenger Puppet

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Profiles in Shit

Discount Cab 735, 9 a.m.  Thomas and 16th St.:  Hmmm… I am a male in desperate need of enhancement, but this cell phone call to 1-900-be-an-ass has left me feeling empowered despite my other shortcomings.
Traffic:  Hey look!  We’re all backed up.
Discount Cab 735:  This looks like a job for someone whose brain requires enhancement [...]

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Coxsuckers

 Cox Communications - we suck, so you don’t have to.
Quoted Install of our transferred service  9.95
Actual price  50

the original 10
another 20 (10 each) for two cable cards, because "installer" called in a serial number.  We had to call Cox to get the install finished and all our channels activated.
another 20 for the internet transfer [...]

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Happy Valentines Day

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Lest we forget…

WIPE: WalMart is Pure Evil.  And so am I

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Brainiacs on Parade

If it’s Sunday, it’s time once again to watch the Arizona Cardinals lose win in improbable fashion. This week, that meant see it in person with the Bear.
Where is the car? Reserved Parking. OK so far.
NFL-ness ensues.
The game has been over for 10 minutes. We arrive at the car, after needed to wait for the [...]

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F*** you, CVS

If I weren’t so sore, I would…

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My f***ed up Valentines

More reasons to hate this bull**** holiday, and especially, the whole “enjoy this gift of flowers, which are dead and slowing rotting already” thing:
Valentine bouquets ‘are bad for the planet’
Al Gore and Ford beg you. Save your carbon footprint for more important things, like a fat steak on the grill. And those [...]

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Satan is alive

and living on Craiglist…

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Just the facts, man

More whine with that cheese…

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Dear Qwest

You still suck, in case you wondered.