Messenger Puppet

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Isn’t It Ironic…

Coming Soon (behind this fence):  Walgreens
Across the street right this very minute:  Walgreens.
Walgreens - where “one on ‘every corner’” is not just a metaphor, it’s our exact business plan.

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Cop or Not?

Conventional plate
crazy antennas on the roof
another one on the trunk
cop-like red blue yellow lights on the parcel shelf.

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Get lost, racist butthead

http://www.joesgottogo.com

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The New Phone Books Are Here!

OK, so phone and not phone book.  Buuuut, my phonebook syncs with my computer, so it was sort of true.  Why does ANY OF THIS MATTER?

I can post here from my phone
Porn
I can unbounce checks over the Internet from my phone
Porn
Porn
Online BevMo ordering on the way to the store
Porn, porn, pornpornporn, porn
also, phone [...]

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How to tell it’s a dream

If these happen:

you are “a bit” over thirty
you are in the NFL, or at least with the Cardinals, the next best thing to a real NFL team
you are in your present average to athletic shape, but nowhere near the shape of that guy in Invincible
you’re with PHid, who is not the biggest fan of football, [...]

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Wells Fargo to me: Go fuck yourself

Dear asshole:
We don’t want your money.  Well,we do, but we’d rather charge you $39.00 for an iTunes you forgot than take 7.9% on a balance you would pay off every month.  So, keep fucking up and we’ll keep gas in the corporate jet at your expense.  We’re like Exxon that way.  Enjoy the Halo corpse-fucking [...]

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Time to go, Joe

 
Dear Sheriff Joe:
We don’t love you any more. See? Can’t you and McSame just retire to Sun City already?
xxoo
sane people everywhere.

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My ex-neighbor Howard

If this were 1970 or so, and the dude was 20 years younger and not a meth head…

Police chase man suspected of defecating in yard
by Lisa Halverstadt - Jun. 30, 2008 03:59 PMThe Arizona Republic
A Phoenix man was arrested Friday night after defecating and urinating on the side of a Tempe home and then running [...]

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The shittiest company in the world…

is right here

Here is why.  (Whole thing here) Mirror.

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Know your enemy

 
I got off without a ticket (probably because I wasn’t speeding–for once), but the story explains why a certain Web site’s caught my eye: Speedtrap.org. It’s a handy, national registry of known speed traps–sorted by state and city. Glory! Speedtrap.org lists a number of hidden radar haunts in Phoenix and neighboring Valley cities. And yes, [...]